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How To Manage Your Emotional State
Posted by Nicky Coffin
It’s common for most human beings on the planet to experience that life doesn’t always go to plan. This seems especially so when you run your own company, or is that just me?!
Over the last few weeks there have been a few comments in our client forums about managing emotions- normally fear and worry.
You know the type of thing? Year end is looming, the team is flagging yet, you still have to deliver on that project to find 10 new sales representatives for your favourite client and you’ve only got 30 days left. No wonder you are struggling to hold it all together.
Fear and worry plagues all of us at one time or another and yet it can be handled using a multitude of different strategies.
I want to share a few practical ideas later in this article. Before I do, here’s something to consider.
There are a few ways to do this.
Be part of a group
You know the saying that a problem shared is a problem halved? Well it is true. For example, here at Centredexcellence we have designed a range of group programmes and now I only carry out a small amount of one to one work. Why? Because on a daily basis I see the support of a group in action and how this encourages and supports the business owners in the group to step outside their comfort zone and move forward.
Being a business owner can be incredibly lonely, you can’t talk to your employees and its common that many managers feel vulnerable sharing their fears with a fellow director.
And to cap it all there is the uncomfortable issue about sharing the emotional thoughts that are running around your head with your significant other.
Being in a likeminded group certainly helps-finally you are surround by a group of people that ‘get it’, which on the surface might seem a small benefit though it’s actually its huge. Now here is something else I advise.
Get a coach
Did you know Oprah, Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos all extol the virtues of having a coach (reveal: I too have a coach)? It’s been the fastest growing business sector for well over a decade; why? Because it works.
A coach will help you think through things and will enable you to have a different perspective on what is really happening. They will normally have seen something similar with their clients many times before and will have a range of techniques, tools and strategies they can share that work. In a couple of our programmes clients get access to an amazing coach, which I have made available because I know the difference it makes.
What happens if I need to handle something straight away?
That unexpected phone call or sudden realization of an impending issue can throw anyone into a panic and there are a few strategies I personally use.
Change your physical state
The mind and body are connected and a change of physical state will also change your physiology which changes your emotional response. A study published in Scientific American confirms and clarifies how this all works. Emotions have physical manifestations.
If you smile, for example, and hold it for several seconds, it will change your biochemistry. Fear manifests physically and exercise and movement literally changes how you think.
Who hasn’t gone out to get some ‘fresh air’ and felt totally different afterwards? Interesting that highly successful people have exercise regimes as part of a daily ritual because it helps them manage their emotions. I shared this in an article you can find here.
If you find yourself getting worked up, frustrated or annoyed while in the office here’s a few quick ideas to change your state:
1. Change your posture, if you are sat down, then stand up and go take a short walk around the office
2. Shift your mental focus with a different task
3. Right down in bullet point fashion 10 things that are positive and you appreciate are happening for you right now
Watch your words
Have you ever heard the phrase; “speak it into being?”. It’s true. The conversations we have in our heads and out loud impact our results. Remember how sensitive our conscious and unconscious minds are.
Our words reflect our thinking. Reflect on the people around you. I have one ‘acquaintance’ whose life is a disaster. Whenever I speak to them and say, “How are you doing?” They respond, “Well, I’m surviving.”
Strangely, those words shape their reality—or at least their perception of it. They end up barely getting by.
I have another friend who always replies, “ F*&^””!! Outstanding!” This too shapes his reality. He always seems to be doing well. I know he has challenges, but his words empower him and give him the resources he needs to overcome them.
What next for you?
I have given you a number of ideas of next steps here. If you would like to find out more about how joining one of our programmes could help you then get in touch here.
High performing consultants are the lifeblood of any successful recruitment organisation. The challenge starts when your recruiters underperform. There is a solution and I cover it in-depth in my latest ebook; How to Convert Your under Performers to Consistent Billers in 14 Days or less. You can download it here.